So, i guess i need to vent a little. I was with my ex for 5 years, we have a 2 year old daughter. I wanted to move down here to south texas because my father offered to let us stay at his house and would pay for me, and her, to go to school so we would be able to give our daughter (and her son, from a previous relationship) a good life. I thought this was an opportunity of a lifetime, but my ex refused. I decided it was best for my daughter for me to get an education. So i said i was moving, thinking she would agree. but she didnt, and it was a big mess of a breakup. Our custody agreement is that i get my daughter for 3 weeks, and she is with her mother up north for 5, although my daughter has spent much more than that down here due to a variety of reasons. this is the first time my daughter has been gone for the whole 5 weeks, and im going crazy. my ex starting dating another guy while we were still living together and it drives me nuts thinking he is getting to see my daughter right now and i am not. i truly believe i am doing the best thing for my daughter, but i still have 3 years of school left. has anyone dealt with anything similar? i dont care that my ex is with someone new, i just worry about my daughter being around someone new. thank you if you actually read all this, but its hard actually being a dad that actually wants to be around his kid all the time and doesnt get to. i dunno, looking for words of encouragement or advice with how to deal with this.

If she didn't see, agree with, and jump on the benifits of the
offer, not just for her own future, but for the whole family,
then I'd have to say it was better to find out now. Also that
it's her loss, but unfortunatley the kid's loss too, which is
just sad. I would maybe look into some way to maybe accelerate
the classes if you can, maybe online ones to shorten the completion
time, or see if there is some way you can, if it was plausible, to
move back or at least closer to your daughter-see if you can
transfer to a comparable school nearby.

Although it does completely suck right now, it sounds like you
are trying to do the right thing, and you both will be better
off for it in the long run. Best of luck and wishes to you.

thank you for your reply. im taking as many classes as i can handle. i'd move back closer, but i cant afford my own place to live(and all the expenses that go along with that) and pay child support. i work part time and go to school full time. cant wait for the next couple years to go by

I see. The only thing to do then is keep on keeping on, it will
be worth it in the end.

Keep focusing on what your studying ...the time will go by real fast ....she will be fine ...dnt worry so much (nt that you shouldnt)

Sounds like you made the right choice.

You chose not to be a part of the family when you said, 'Im moving' thinking she would simply join you, even though you say she had already declined. She may not have understood that you were willing to compromise if you were. I dont know why she didnt want to go but obviously she had a reason.

I wonder if nothing could have been worked out, but it is of little matter now.

Like you said, you are bettering your life so that you can make a better life for your daughter. Maybe you can move close to her when you are finished with school.

Good luck building your future. You sound like a responsible, logical person.

Hummm it is a shame that she could not see life in the future. Seems to me that just maybe since she was dating someone else prior to you leaving she had no thought in staying with you anyway.... It is better that you get your education while your daughter is little...

Just do the best you can and see her all you can in the end she will know that what you did was for the best...

Without a education now days you will not get anywhere....

Your doing what you need to do and lucky you have the opportunity to do so....

First of all, I think she really lucked out. To pass on a opportunity of a lifetime. She could have had a wonderful life with both you and your daughter with an education and no exspences.
It does make me wonder was she in it for the long haul? Especially if she had already started dating this man while you two were living together.
All that matters is your daughter and the two of you need to be able to co-parent together. Make smart and wise decisions for her and what is best for her. Call her every night just so she knows you love her. Plus it will help put your mind at ease too.
I would keep focusing on school. See if you can take some of the classes online or at home as well. That will help cut down the time that you are in school.

Good luck to you.

I wonder how long they continued living together after the breakup.

it was kind of a live together but neither of us were in the house at the same time. i would stay with the kids about half the time and she would the other half. either of us would stay at a friends while the other was at the house. it was like that for 2 months or so. i stayed trying to help her get things sorted out for herself before i moved and i still payed the rent for several months after that. it was a big mess. i had really hoped to have our family together forever. oh well, 3 more years and i can move back and won't have to bartend for rest of my life.

Maybe you can get your ex to let you talk to your daughter on skype. Thats gotta suck though for sure, can't imagine being that far from my daughter. I put up with being neighbours with my ex just so I can see my daughter. Just make sure you keep in touch til you move back. Pictures and stuff.