think of a mix between color purple and steel magnolias,,,,,its based off of a book and touches on VERY sad and ADULT situations,,,

I'm a single mum of 2(girls) & i respect my kids. I wouldn't try such even if we've known for 2 months. I can allow the man in my home/near my kids if we have intention of getting hooked. In essence. It's better we meet outside my house.

No way.. not for at least a good 4-5 months.

That is a warning sign for you as well!! I would never let someone I just met meet my kids, know where i Live or anything. But if someone like this person did, run for the hills....there is something very wrong with her.

No!

My babiesand men??


Separate. Separate. Separate

That's their home. Their safe place

For years men never entered that domain!

I haven't read the thread, so pardon any repetition. Personally, although I share some of your concern I think it does depend on the man and the situation. To be totally honest though my first thought when you first posted this several weeks ago - remains my opinion of ur post. And that is - is it really any of ur business? No offense intended but if she is an adult not breaking the law - let go

I don't think it is even about that.. it is about the home being a safe haven and my ex's ex would introduce their daughter to a lot of men and it is not good for the kids. Not to mention, the stats on abuse nowadays. The welfare of his child will always be his business. No insult intended just my opinion.

I am a mum of a baby of a similar age and I definitely would not invite him to my place. You need to get to know someone better before trusting them to come into your personal space, that's just my opinion.

i have a one and a half year old daughter. and i wont even let her meet my boyfriends untill i know its serious.. let alone have some stranger in my house while shes there.. that little girl is my world and if anything happend to her i dont know what id do..

While my kids were young even as teens I was VERY careful about who I let in my HOME and did some serious checking up on them before they ever got close. Luckily I had a wide circle of friends and resources to know a lot about most of the people I would even consider.

But what this thinking skips over is that huge percentage of people who hurt children are people who you know well, are related too, and who have gained the public trust. Not just some other single person who is trying to get some idea who you are and if you are really single and worth develpeing a relationship with.

As far as children bonding to adult friends it has a lot to do with how this person is integrated with the child's life. If it is clear to the child that YOU are in charge of their care, disciplene, gifts, and the conversation between them then they are not going to "bond". Now if the "date" starts taking over the joint, sleeping over (A HUGE NO GO with me), and being the kids pal (which is making the relationship about your kid and not you and should kick the relationship to the curb) well yea that is going to mess with the kids mind. Kids are not toys to play house with. But a polite drop by to pick up or drop off, watch tv while they do homework, pr even an informal meal together is not going to make much of an impression on your kids unless you make a big drama out of it and keep the intimacy out of the picture.

Parenting has to COME FIRST but I don't think it should mean the parent sacrifices their life compleatly. How are kids going to learn social graces if they never see the basics practiced.

If the OP is just trying to get a read on his own experience or how to advise a VERY close friend or family member then I would say tread lightly because you are likely to blow up a relationship if the observed person resents you making and issue on the subject.

I will say if you get a vibe that the person you observed is neglectful of her parenting responsibilities that should be a MAJOR red flag for a personal relationship because her loyalty, respect, and committment to a lover will probably be negligable past a careless and maybe even dangerous roll in the hay.

Espcially in todays world where neglected children have often taken over the roost and rule it with and iron hand that will not willingly let go.

No....I wouldn't do it. I used to work at a sexual assault crisis center and saw and heard too many horror stories. I have enough trust issues already, and I don't need to add something like this to the mix.