ABSORB And REFRACT

A native sounder, my borderless geomorphic home range is best defined as an area between the upper outer slopes of the Olympics and Cascades from northern BC to an area just north of the Columbia where the trees are less sparse and the moss more dense and green. Having lived on the sound or Lake Washington. or in close proximity to related bodies of water nearly all my life, this is my home, the stuff of my honing, and may, in some sense, account for my steadfast amazement and why i continue to marvel at conventional reinforcement of a social construct which encourages us to express if not articulate value for what we "do for a living" well-beyond the slightest notion that we are better served and more accurately defined by what we do for a life. With pokers in the fire all over the place, writing reviews for post-SIFF pre-release screenings of films soon to open in local cinemas is more of a socio-recreational pursuit than an hobby, nonetheless a singular component of the composite of things that i do for a life but probably not what i'd be doing with a "significant other" as a lifestyle fixture. But it gets me out of the office and into the theatre several times per week, usually alone but sparingly by choice.

My current profession as a public policy analyst and doctrinal research associate (consultant to a quorum of alternative policy think tanks) is the thing i do less for a living than out of passion and the need to shape organized resistance to illicit power. But i do it ("fighting the good fight") because it simply MUST be done and someone must do it, getting it "right" nearly always the first time. If the same could be said for my love life you'd surely not be reading this as i'd surely not be profiled here.. Immersed in the inner trappings of my primary work space the majority of the time, it's fair to say that I don't get out much beyond that and meetings, an occasional reception, some fortuitous biking, camping or backpacking if I'm lucky--winter and fall being my preferred seasons. The remainder of my social life is primarily civic in nature, i.e., my civic life IS my social life ("civic" meaning work--feel free to be my catalyst for altering this, thank you). My search for persons of quality who exhibit the potential to become "true friends" (a standard rarely achieved, though there is something to be said for effort) and who aspire toward a certain "purity of heart" sets the parameters for my primary underlying quest herewith

In a more perfect world I'd not feel the need to scream, "PLEASE BE PURE OF HEART, EXUDE INTEGRITY AND BELIEVE IN SOMETHING THAT IS INTANGIBLE AND/OR WORTH DEFENDING TO THE DEATH JUST BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT, IF YOU DON'T MIND," because there is no question but that no less an effort will be required to salvage this planet, achieve world peace, raise a family or anything else that really matters. Nevertheless, it may be the case that, after having suffered the loss of my "best friend" and feline homie (cat) within days of one another, I just need someone to talk to (pbrrrp!! think again). For in a more perfect world i'd not be concerned with whether you are a nice person because you simply WOULD BE; i'd not insist upon your being reasonably cultured because it would not matter. In a more perfect world you'd not have to desire to become a part of a more relevant dialogue, nor be someone seeking an intimate exchange of thoughts on things "that matter," nor someone in search of a true friend for life in order to capture my attention. And garnering my favor would not likely be predicated upon your ability to facilitate a serious dialogue on things that matter to someone other than you, nor upon whether you possessed a body of child-bearing age coupled with a more than modest propensity to envision our shared future in some familial way; nor upon whether you possess a (used) passport in your own (legal) name; nor upon your ability to speak, or at least dabble in, more than one language wherein Klingon-literacy would merit bonus points. And i could more easily nix a desire that you possess the requisite attributes to nurture a plant (any plant) from seed to full maturity and that you articulate a willingness to share living space with an animal of your choosing that is not human. And you would, by osmosis, love music (generating extra points for your willingness to dance) and at least tolerate indie films, music and foreign (off-shore) media; and possess and value a library card many times more greatly than a credit card, and appreciate wildlife and the commons and desire to be thereamongst frequently. in a more perfect world i'd just KNOW that you'd never have responded to, nor posted in, anything resembling "hook-ups," "casual encounters" or "sex with no strings" because, of course, you are perfect and, as such, you'd already be in sole possession of my complete and undivided attention for any number of reasons, and not least because you know the meaning of "1st Thursday" and "civility" and "passion" and "selflessness" and "ENOUGH" and "forever" and "honorable," "compassion" and "duh" (a.k.a. "connect these two dots").

But in the real world, is it not the case that i should be content to maintain a course heading vectored toward she who possesses real thoughts that are original, spacious, engaging, and at least reasonably selfless and whose sense (or manner) of class-, race- and/or age-consciousness be not an impediment to inter-personal unity and productive growth-oriented dialogue? any person, beyond my own class of colleagues, who cares about the quality of the lives of others--known and unknown--and has faith in the human spirit, christened in the unbridled belief that each of us can, not only make a difference but, BE the difference and is open to the not-so-subtle insight that critical mass may be
upon us, that the viability of this stone may be in the balance and/or that our very lives may be at stake, but whose vibrant mental energy exudes a confidence that we, as a species, can turn this ship around--and moreover, one who can embrace the notion that codification of an ethical self-image and internalization of selflessness may be essential to becoming the positive source of the ripple effect which impels others (friends, neighbors, strangers, [and especially children and grandchildren] and all whose lives one touches) to be subtle ambassadors for righteousness, siblinghood and peace--earthly, interstellar and otherwise has, without question, my undivided attention and a prophetic path to my own heart. I just want someone to listen to, read from and/or interact with whose life is about something other than them; who is not so obsessed with material enrichment, fitting a desired class image, enhancing their romantic options, masking uncomfortable truths and/or doing combat with those who selflessly and manifestly have their very best interest at heart to the extreme detriment of one's own--someone whose job does not seem to be to control or crush my spirit nor enhance some personal experience at the expense of others; someone without an agenda; someone who, and whose alliance, can neither be bought nor bartered, i.e., someone who will not be a prostitute for the aspirations of antagonists; someone who is not content to take, or travel with those who are content to maintain a traveling presence upon, the low road; someone who, despite her own faults and shortcomings, is wanting to articulate a "can do" intent to be a better person; someone who fears not to set the bar a little higher with each chronological increment. One need neither support nor underwrite my research, nor be like me nor even ever intimate a prognosis for love or personal caring for or about me over and above a "higher calling." In my life, it is very nearly never, if ever, about me. nor should it be. None of which alters the simple fact that i continue to desire the presence of someone to talk to, to listen to and from whom to indulge a viable belief that I retain the capacity to effectively nurture, and be nurtured by, a kindred spirit.

But, to be clear, my suppressed desire to be head-over-heels haplessly enthralled by someone genuinely special remains complicated by my need to filter through the haze of less relevant distractions, quite despite which fact, and abiding all my strength and resolve, I may yet be powerless to resist the premature and tempting allure of an enchantress who pictorializes that seemingly perfect match--an offering against which i am nothing if not patient, and celibate to that end, as i hold myself in wait of resolution that i may be graced by the purest of hearts becometh mine to lose.

I am true and I am honest.
I am honorable and, to no end,
I mean this.

Your having read this far implies that your eyes naturally gravitate to text which, of course, may indicate that we qualify for one another on some level. And, should you find the prospect sufficiently intriguing, it may suffice for you to still yourself so as to know your own heart with an eye toward reckoning it's proximity to mine. Thus, if what you experience there more than suits you . . . . .

with deference to honor, MAKE some thing happen.

-tru


INTERVIEW With GREENHAWK
by Moonshadow

Moonshadow: So these are the questions. We would like to know: What do you do for fun?; How many children do you have?; What kind of food do you like?; What is your favorite way to spend a romantic evening?; Are you adventurous and what brings the most joy into your life?

Greenhawk: So, fire away.

Moonshadow: "So, what do you do for fun?"

Greenhawk: "a few of the things that i most enjoy are essentially "gravity sucks-" commensurate, i.e., flying, gliding, ballooning, parasailing, chuting and sky-diving; or manifest themselves relative to water and wilderness, e.g., camping, backpacking, canoeing, rubber rafting, deep wilderness exploration, sailing, island-hopping the san juans and cruising in general, and virtually anything having to do with snow or winter outdoors. i like testing my survival skills and new ways of making things happen in the absence of convenience. however the ordinary things that i do with much greater frequency include bike riding, gallery hops and 1st thursdays, brain food such as games--board games, brain teasers and mind benders, computer challenges and skill contests of a great variety--libraries and bookstores with or without espresso bars (the smaller the better......usually), beach combing at low tide (the lower the better) i prefer cold as opposed to hot, cool as opposed to warm environs (but warm hearts, souls, personalities and bodies--live, of course). i love the light and warmth of fire in cold and detest it in heat but otherwise love fire for the living entity that it seems; i love all animals (save some humans) and very much like interacting with most but would rather protect those which would ordinarily not have contact with humans and am careful to have respectful but not "friendly" contact with them; i love viewing and being totally absorbed by a good story, fiction or non-, book, play or movie, though (i am more likely to watch relevant documentaries as i do not trust most movies to sufficiently entertain me or to hold my attention) mine is an active, readily accessible and easily provoked imagination, inferior imagery, or lackluster screen writing born of indolence can be a bit of a distraction, and i love live theatre; i like to cook but bake for fun; i love fighting the good fight, but find having to do it decidedly repugnant--i'd rather be making wine and consuming it with others."

Moonshadow: "How many children do you have?"

Greenhawk: "i've one daughter in friday harbor and a godson in napa valley;"

Moonshadow: "What kind of food do you like?"

Greenhawk: "having been born and raised on puget sound, fresh vegetables and sea foods (wild fish, geoduck chowder and such) have been staples for me; beyond the foods that i won't eat for political and humanitarian reasons there are few foods that i dislike although there are preparations of them that i may find intolerable quite despite that i am not food snobbish. i've an unwavering preference for "all-natural" foods and would very much wish to avoid all things artificial (people included), foods known to be genetically engineered or containing bgh or unnatural and/or non-resident toxins; beyond that, no culture's cuisine is off limits for me;"

Moonshadow: "What is your favorite way to spend a romantic evening?"

Greenhawk: "to be perfectly honest, i cannot say as an absolute certainty that i've a solid grasp upon a C L U E. actually, but, seems fitting it should probably involve persons who articulate a sincere desire to be "right" for each other and who comfortably convey a secure confidence that the other person is many times more probably THE ONE than not. beyond that, personal aesthetics rule. for me, simplicity takes the pole position and allows to suffice such things as a great variety of mixed nuts, dried fruit, cheese(s) w/crackers, grapes (california-free) and copious amounts of red wine; i am not beyond a bit of grilling if need be and am nearly always happy to make a fruit pie or some other delightful confectionery treat for the occasion; fire--candles work; a movie (home dvds [or even black & white vhs], drive-in, stage play, progressive activist screening or cheap low-profile hole-in-the-wall theatre that no one goes to because no one knows about it or because it's screened the same film daily for in excess of fourteen consecutive years, e.g., rocky horror............alright, FINE...a home movie will do quite nicely, thank you!!); board-(or other)games work; music (not "romantic"/mushy) works--if "soft" were your preference then my selections would be nature sounds with a meditation musical backdrop, or baroque chambre works or medieval fair or romantic calypso guitar music or soft rock ("smooth jazz"--N O T!!); a moonless midnight dip in the darkest part of a swimming hole ..............what? i didn't already say that i hadn't a clue? .......pbrrrp clearly, i haven't--really, ok? i'm a heterosexual guy's guy who women have found attractive but who has only modest "dating" experience, is more comfortable entertaining than dating, but who, like virtually every girl he's ever known, would rather BE entertained--with the knowledge that she will do so in a manner that satisfies her--and i will simply make it a point to be satisfied with what results of the mutual effort. i otherwise do not feel capable of making romance happen, it really must happen of it's own accord. and i don't really know how it works except that it either occurs or it doesn't. but i would much prefer to know if or when it has, not precisely at that exact moment but at some near-term point thereafter.........such as a parting utterance......(hmm)--a note or a card might be better. here's a clue: GUYS LIKE FLOWERS!! alright alright........ email!"

"look, in point of fact, who knows romance? perhaps somebody somewhere on some other PLANET where our binding to carbon-based three-dimensional physics and traditions-based protocols for this sort of myoscopic social interaction don't apply. but UPON TERRA FERMA it certainly seems to be more within the eye of the beholder which, i suspect, has more to do with efficient interaction between the hypothalamus and neuro-pathways & receptors than anything else that might be readily discernible to a guy like me. a fairly voracious read of internet postings, commercial advertising, entertainment media programming and the like conveys to me the impression that what women seem to most want in men is that we should make them laugh--as though we're all comedians, clowns or court jesters of a sort. and, being products of their exposure, some guys try to play that role in deference to ill-perceived social expectations. want me to make you laugh--get me ripped......bprrrp, good luck with that. the fact is that sometimes i'm found to be insufferably romantic--i sort of think, or so i'm told--but how or under what circumstances that occurs is completely beyond me. what's more is that i'm neither a clown nor an actor. and the nearest i've come to role-playing is as an extra in a few films, a character in certain board games (a'la d&d) and in the exercise of certain work-related diplomatic skills. I've a wonderfully expansive imagination. however, given that i'm not a liar, it's spectrum of application has it's limitations even (especially) in the world of social diplomacy. i know diplomacy, and a fair amount about human behavior and development. i can claim no real knowledge of romance, or what it really is or what makes it happen or how it works or anything at all like that. in that sense, i am essentially ..........hmm........ LOST--or retarded, if you prefer. however, i try to contribute to the happiness and well-being of others, known and unknown, on a daily basis and, to the extent that some women may find that romantically attractive, then perhaps i have succeeded."

Moonshadow: "Are you adventurous?"

Greenhawk: "what are the chances...

Moonshadow: "What brings the most joy to your life?"

Greenhawk: "children, freedom, animals;
justice and positively impacting the lives of others;
winning."


(NOTE: Questions and responses were communicated via the SinglesNet website.)