Well, after trying different online dating sites, and numerous women's prisons across the country, I've learned two things: 1)I hate writing about myself. 2)Even a woman doing 3 consecutive life sentences can be extremely choosy. So...the best I can come up with is I'm a little bit of this, a little bit of that, too much of one thing and not enough of the other. I know, it sounds dorky, but you're talking about a guy who would dress up as a Klingon at a Star Trek convention.(too much information?)

Now, I guess I'm at the "what do I look for in a woman?" part. At first my only criteria was that she'd have to be breathing, but then I thought, "should I make that mandatory or by choice?" My friends, after a brief moment of disgust, thought I should raise the bar a little higher so here goes. My ideal partner would have to have a good sense of humor (How can you tell whether you have one or not? If you laughed at all while reading my posting you obviously don't have one.) She has to love to laugh(preferrably with me instead of at me. Uh...Oh...bad memories coming back...repress...repress) She has to have a good personality (a bit cliche, but true) and be family oriented (Not to worry...my family is just as dysfunctional as any other). Don't get me wrong, I'm not crazy. Sure, I'm taking night classes on taxidermy and motel management, but that's perfectly normal. So there you have it. This will either leave you interested or running scared. Anyways at least you had a look.